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Psychology, family and everyday life

Self-confidence: getting to know a changed body and roles

Illness can change work, everyday roles, appearance and strength. That can shake confidence: "I am not who I was". This section explains how to rebuild it.

Last updated: ~1 min read
A stack of smooth stones balanced on top of each other
Figure 1.Finding a new balance, step by step

01Short answer

Your worth is not defined only by what you do. What helps: writing down your strengths, setting small achievable goals and noting successes, comparing yourself with yesterday's you rather than with others, and continuing favourite activities in an adapted form. Taking part in decisions with your team strengthens a sense of control. Practical tips on appearance changes are in “Changes in appearance: when the body changes” and “Hair loss: preparing and caring”.

02Simple explanation

Your worth is more than tasks.

Strengths.

Small wins.

Take part in decisions.

03Scientific explanation

NCI: self-image can change during illness; open conversation and support make adjustment easier.

NCI: most people facing cancer feel anxiety, sadness or anger; support and treatment improve quality of life.

04What happens in the body?

Sense of control

Asking questions and making choices builds confidence.

Roles

Family roles may change for a while; that is normal.

Psycho-oncology

The field of medicine focused on the emotional needs of people with cancer.

Small steps

Breathing, movement, sleep and talking, a little each day.

05Support: four steps

Feel it, name it, share it, get help.

Feel — Allow your feelings.1FeelAllow your feelings.
Name — Say what you feel.2NameSay what you feel.
Share — Talk to someone close.3ShareTalk to someone close.
Get help — Reach out to a specialist.4Get helpReach out to a specialist.
AttentionListen to yourself.
ConnectionYou are not alone.
SupportA specialist is there.

06Key points at a glance

TopicIn brief
Sense of controlAsking questions and making choices builds confidence.
RolesFamily roles may change for a while; that is normal.
Psycho-oncologyThe field of medicine focused on the emotional needs of people with cancer.
Small stepsBreathing, movement, sleep and talking, a little each day.

07Key terms

Self-esteem
How you value yourself.
Self-image
How you see yourself.
Psychologist
A specialist in emotional support.
Distress
Emotional strain linked to illness.

08Key points

  • Write down strengths.
  • Small goals.
  • Compare with yourself.
  • Feelings are normal.
  • Ask for support.

09Frequently asked questions

I cannot work; am I useless?

No; right now treatment is your job.

When will I be myself again?

Recovery comes gradually; talk with your team.

Does seeing a psychologist mean I am "crazy"?

No. It is looking after yourself in a hard situation.

10Questions for your doctor

Take these questions to your appointment. The ones you save are collected on the “My questions” page and stay on this device only.

  1. I cannot work; am I useless?

  2. When will I be myself again?

  3. Does seeing a psychologist mean I am "crazy"?

My questions

12Sources

  1. National Cancer Institute. Feelings and Cancer
  2. National Cancer Institute. Adjusting to Cancer
  3. National Cancer Institute. Support for Caregivers
  4. World Health Organization. Mental health: strengthening our response
  5. National Cancer Institute (NCI). Cancer-Related Post-traumatic Stress (PDQ®) – Patient Version
  6. American Cancer Society. Adjusting to Life With Cancer
  7. American Cancer Society. Mental Health and Distress
  8. American Cancer Society. Therapy, Counseling, and Support Resources for People with Cancer
  9. NCCN Guidelines for Patients. Distress During Cancer Care
  10. Cancer Research UK. Mental health and cancer
Medical disclaimerThis information is for educational purposes only and does not replace medical advice.
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