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Psychology, family and everyday life

How a loved one can avoid burnout: carers need care too

Carers often forget their own needs. Months of caregiving can lead to tiredness, poor sleep, irritability and burnout. Self-care is not selfish; it lets you keep helping on a long road.

Last updated: ~1 min read
Tea being poured from a teapot into a cup
Figure 1.Carers need to refill their own cup too

01Short answer

Signs of burnout: constant tiredness, disturbed sleep, irritability, loss of interest, getting ill often and hopelessness. What helps: sharing tasks and accepting help, at least a short break every day, food, sleep and movement, keeping your own medical appointments, staying in touch with friends, and carer support groups. A seasonal flu vaccine protects both carers and the patient; ask your own doctor. If things get harder, see a psychologist.

02Simple explanation

Self-care is not selfish.

Know the signs.

Accept help.

A daily break.

03Scientific explanation

NCI: carers experience emotional and physical strain; self-care and support protect their health.

NCI: most people facing cancer feel anxiety, sadness or anger; support and treatment improve quality of life.

04What happens in the body?

Vaccination

Vaccinating loved ones helps protect the patient from infection.

Boundaries

Saying "no" and resting are normal.

Psycho-oncology

The field of medicine focused on the emotional needs of people with cancer.

Small steps

Breathing, movement, sleep and talking, a little each day.

05Support: four steps

Feel it, name it, share it, get help.

Feel — Allow your feelings.1FeelAllow your feelings.
Name — Say what you feel.2NameSay what you feel.
Share — Talk to someone close.3ShareTalk to someone close.
Get help — Reach out to a specialist.4Get helpReach out to a specialist.
AttentionListen to yourself.
ConnectionYou are not alone.
SupportA specialist is there.

06Key points at a glance

TopicIn brief
VaccinationVaccinating loved ones helps protect the patient from infection.
BoundariesSaying "no" and resting are normal.
Psycho-oncologyThe field of medicine focused on the emotional needs of people with cancer.
Small stepsBreathing, movement, sleep and talking, a little each day.

07Key terms

Burnout
Physical and emotional exhaustion from long strain.
Respite care
A temporary stand-in so the carer can rest.
Psychologist
A specialist in emotional support.
Distress
Emotional strain linked to illness.

08Key points

  • Take breaks.
  • Accept help.
  • Look after yourself.
  • Feelings are normal.
  • Ask for support.

09Frequently asked questions

I feel guilty resting.

Rest lets you help for longer.

Who can I turn to?

The team's social worker and psychologist.

Does seeing a psychologist mean I am "crazy"?

No. It is looking after yourself in a hard situation.

10Questions for your doctor

Take these questions to your appointment. The ones you save are collected on the “My questions” page and stay on this device only.

  1. I feel guilty resting.

  2. Who can I turn to?

  3. Does seeing a psychologist mean I am "crazy"?

My questions

12Sources

  1. National Cancer Institute. Feelings and Cancer
  2. National Cancer Institute. Adjusting to Cancer
  3. National Cancer Institute. Support for Caregivers
  4. World Health Organization. Mental health: strengthening our response
  5. National Cancer Institute (NCI). Support for Families When Someone Has Cancer
  6. National Cancer Institute (NCI). Bleeding and Bruising (Thrombocytopenia) and Cancer Treatment
  7. National Cancer Institute (NCI). Managing Costs and Medical Information
  8. National Cancer Institute (NCI). Adolescents and Young Adults with Cancer
  9. National Cancer Institute (NCI). When Your Parent Has Cancer: A Guide for Teens
  10. National Cancer Institute (NCI). Caring for the Caregiver
Medical disclaimerThis information is for educational purposes only and does not replace medical advice.
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