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Psychology, family and everyday life

How the family can help: specific and shared

Family support is an important part of treatment, but loved ones often do not know what to do. This section explains how the family can help in concrete ways.

Last updated: ~1 min read
Rows of prepared meals in food containers
Figure 1.Practical help: ready-made meals

01Short answer

The best start is to ask the person: "What would help you today?" Specific tasks: going to appointments, writing down questions, keeping the medicine calendar, housework, cooking (following food-safety rules, “Handwashing: the simplest protection” and “Eggs and dairy: safe choices”), childcare and paperwork. Set up a rota so one person does not burn out. Hygiene: wash hands, and stay away if you are ill (“Visitors: joy and safety” and “Visitor hygiene: five simple rules”). Simply being there, listening and talking about ordinary things matter just as much. Respect the person's independence.

02Simple explanation

Ask what is needed.

Specific tasks.

A rota.

Ill? Stay away.

03Scientific explanation

NCI: practical and emotional support from family and friends improves a patient's adjustment.

NCI: most people facing cancer feel anxiety, sadness or anger; support and treatment improve quality of life.

04What happens in the body?

Main contact person

One person keeping in touch with the team reduces confusion.

Independence

Do not take away tasks the person can still do.

Psycho-oncology

The field of medicine focused on the emotional needs of people with cancer.

Small steps

Breathing, movement, sleep and talking, a little each day.

05Support: four steps

Feel it, name it, share it, get help.

Feel — Allow your feelings.1FeelAllow your feelings.
Name — Say what you feel.2NameSay what you feel.
Share — Talk to someone close.3ShareTalk to someone close.
Get help — Reach out to a specialist.4Get helpReach out to a specialist.
AttentionListen to yourself.
ConnectionYou are not alone.
SupportA specialist is there.

06Key points at a glance

TopicIn brief
Main contact personOne person keeping in touch with the team reduces confusion.
IndependenceDo not take away tasks the person can still do.
Psycho-oncologyThe field of medicine focused on the emotional needs of people with cancer.
Small stepsBreathing, movement, sleep and talking, a little each day.

07Key terms

Carer
A loved one who looks after the patient.
Rota
Sharing out tasks.
Psychologist
A specialist in emotional support.
Distress
Emotional strain linked to illness.

08Key points

  • Ask.
  • Share tasks.
  • Wash hands.
  • Feelings are normal.
  • Ask for support.

09Frequently asked questions

I do not know what to say.

Being there and listening is enough (“What you can say: words that support”).

I live far away; how can I help?

Calls, paperwork, online orders.

Does seeing a psychologist mean I am "crazy"?

No. It is looking after yourself in a hard situation.

10Questions for your doctor

Take these questions to your appointment. The ones you save are collected on the “My questions” page and stay on this device only.

  1. I do not know what to say.

  2. I live far away; how can I help?

  3. Does seeing a psychologist mean I am "crazy"?

My questions

12Sources

  1. National Cancer Institute. Talking with Family and Friends
  2. National Cancer Institute. Feelings and Cancer
  3. National Cancer Institute. Adjusting to Cancer
  4. National Cancer Institute. Support for Caregivers
  5. World Health Organization. Mental health: strengthening our response
  6. Pediatric Blood & Cancer, 2015. Supporting Siblings as a Standard of Care in Pediatric Oncology
  7. Pediatric Blood & Cancer, 2015. Standards for the Psychosocial Care of Children With Cancer and Their Families: An Introduction to the Special Issue
  8. National Cancer Institute (NCI). Family Caregivers in Cancer (PDQ®) – Patient Version
  9. American Cancer Society. Chemotherapy Safety
  10. Cancer Research UK. Chemotherapy safety at home
Medical disclaimerThis information is for educational purposes only and does not replace medical advice.
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