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Psychology, family and everyday life

Communication in the family: everyone with the same information

During illness everyone in the family has different information, fears and opinions, and that creates tension. This section explains how to organise communication within the family.

Last updated: ~1 min read
A family talking together around a kitchen table
Figure 1.Everyone in the family with the same information

01Short answer

Hold short family meetings: what is known, what is planned and who does what. Let one or two people keep in touch with the doctor and then pass the same information to everyone (for example in a group chat). Respect the person's wishes: they decide what to share and with whom. Disagreements are normal; listen and do not blame. Include children (“How to explain it to a child: honest, simple, age-appropriate”). For hard topics (treatment choices, future plans) the team's psychologist or social worker can join a meeting.

02Simple explanation

Family meeting.

One information channel.

The person's wishes.

Disagreement is normal.

03Scientific explanation

NCI: open communication in the family reduces misunderstandings and makes shared decisions easier.

NCI: most people facing cancer feel anxiety, sadness or anger; support and treatment improve quality of life.

04What happens in the body?

Privacy

The person decides who receives their medical information.

Culture

Some families are used to hiding things from the patient; openness is usually more helpful.

Psycho-oncology

The field of medicine focused on the emotional needs of people with cancer.

Small steps

Breathing, movement, sleep and talking, a little each day.

05Support: four steps

Feel it, name it, share it, get help.

Feel — Allow your feelings.1FeelAllow your feelings.
Name — Say what you feel.2NameSay what you feel.
Share — Talk to someone close.3ShareTalk to someone close.
Get help — Reach out to a specialist.4Get helpReach out to a specialist.
AttentionListen to yourself.
ConnectionYou are not alone.
SupportA specialist is there.

06Key points at a glance

TopicIn brief
PrivacyThe person decides who receives their medical information.
CultureSome families are used to hiding things from the patient; openness is usually more helpful.
Psycho-oncologyThe field of medicine focused on the emotional needs of people with cancer.
Small stepsBreathing, movement, sleep and talking, a little each day.

07Key terms

Family meeting
A shared family discussion.
Privacy
Protection of personal information.
Psychologist
A specialist in emotional support.
Distress
Emotional strain linked to illness.

08Key points

  • Hold meetings.
  • One channel.
  • Show respect.
  • Feelings are normal.
  • Ask for support.

09Frequently asked questions

Should we hide the diagnosis from the patient?

Usually not; talk honestly together with the doctor.

Relatives call too often.

Let one person send updates to everyone.

Does seeing a psychologist mean I am "crazy"?

No. It is looking after yourself in a hard situation.

10Questions for your doctor

Take these questions to your appointment. The ones you save are collected on the “My questions” page and stay on this device only.

  1. Should we hide the diagnosis from the patient?

  2. Relatives call too often.

  3. Does seeing a psychologist mean I am "crazy"?

My questions

12Sources

  1. National Cancer Institute. Talking with Family and Friends
  2. National Cancer Institute. Feelings and Cancer
  3. National Cancer Institute. Adjusting to Cancer
  4. National Cancer Institute. Support for Caregivers
  5. World Health Organization. Mental health: strengthening our response
  6. MedlinePlus. Nosebleed
  7. MedlinePlus. Bleeding into the skin
  8. MedlinePlus. Blood transfusions
  9. MedlinePlus. Hemolytic transfusion reaction
  10. NHS. Loneliness
Medical disclaimerThis information is for educational purposes only and does not replace medical advice.
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