Questions to ask the intensive care team
Conversations with doctors in intensive care can be short, and anxiety runs high. Prepared questions make the conversation clearer and more useful. This topic groups questions worth asking about the condition, the plan, the machines, decisions, visiting and the time after intensive care.
01Short answer
02Simple explanation
Doctors want to help, but their time is often limited. Questions prepared in advance let you ask what matters most.
It helps to group your questions: condition, plan, machines, decisions, family, the future. You do not need to ask the whole list every time — choose the two or three most important questions of the day.
Write the answers down. When we are anxious, much of what we hear is forgotten. Phone notes or a notebook help. With permission, you can also record the conversation.
Let one person in the family be the main contact with the team and pass information on to the others. This saves the doctors’ time and prevents conflicting messages.
Some answers may not be known yet. “We don’t know yet” is an honest answer. Then it helps to ask, “When will we know more?”
03Scientific explanation
Communicating with families: the Society of Critical Care Medicine guidelines (2017) recommend regular, structured family meetings, explanations in plain language and time for the family’s questions. This can reduce anxiety and symptoms of depression in relatives.
How decisions are made: according to the NHS, if the patient is awake and able to communicate, they are fully involved in decisions. If they are unconscious or sedated, a decision maker they named in advance or wishes they expressed earlier are taken into account; otherwise the doctors decide in the patient’s best interests, talking it through with the family. Rules differ between countries.
Shared care in leukemia: joint work by the hematology and intensive care teams is an important part of caring for people with blood cancers. Decisions about early treatment of infection (NCI) and the timing of leukemia treatment are made together.
The next stage: NICE (CG83) recommends assessing recovery needs when a patient leaves intensive care and giving them written information. Asking about this in advance makes the transition easier.
04What happens in the body?
About the condition
“What is the main problem right now, and why did it happen?”, “Which organs are being supported?”, “What has changed in the last 24 hours?”, “Is the condition stable, improving, or is there concern?”, “What would you see as a sign of progress?”
About the plan and treatment
“What are the goals for today and this week?”, “Which treatments are being given, and why?”, “How is the hematology team involved?”, “Will leukemia treatment continue or be paused?”, “Which tests are we waiting for, and when will results come?”
About machines and comfort
“What is this machine or tube for, and when could it come off?”, “How are pain and discomfort assessed and relieved?”, “How deep is the sedation, and when will it be reduced?”, “If there is delirium, how can the family help?”
About decisions and wishes
“How are decisions made, and how is the family involved?”, “How do you take the patient’s own wishes into account?”, “What are the options, and what are the benefits and burdens of each?”, “How will you let us know if things change?” Share openly what you know about your loved one’s wishes.
About family and visiting
“What are the visiting rules — can children visit?”, “What can and can’t we bring?”, “Who can we call, and when?”, “How can a family meeting be arranged?”, “Is psychological or social support available for the family?”
After intensive care
“What needs to happen before moving to a ward?”, “Which recovery difficulties might we expect?”, “Will there be physiotherapy, dietitian and psychology support?”, “Who do we contact after discharge, and which signs mean calling urgently?”, “Can we have the recovery plan in writing?”
05A good conversation in four steps
Prepare, ask, note and clarify.
06Question groups with examples (simplified)
| Subject | Example question | Why it matters |
|---|---|---|
| Condition | What is the main problem, and what has changed? | Understanding the overall picture |
| Goals | What is today’s goal? | Following progress |
| Leukemia treatment | Will treatment continue? | Knowing the hematology plan |
| Machines | What is this for, and when will it come off? | Reducing fear |
| Decisions | How are wishes respected? | Honouring the patient’s values |
| Next stage | What will the recovery plan be? | Preparing for the transition |
* This list is an example. Choose and add questions that fit your situation.
07Key terms
- Family meeting
- A planned conversation between the doctors and the family.
- Contact person
- The family member who is the main contact with the team.
- Designated decision maker
- A person the patient named to take part in decisions on their behalf.
- Advance wishes
- Treatment choices a person stated or wrote down beforehand.
- Sedation
- Medicines that cause drowsiness for comfort.
- Best interests
- The principle of choosing what best fits the patient’s values and condition.
- Recovery plan
- A written plan of the steps after intensive care.
- Shared care
- Hematologists and intensivists working together.
08Key points
- Write your questions down in advance.
- Pick two or three key questions a day.
- Note the answers.
- One person is the main contact.
- Ask about the hematology plan.
- Speak openly about the patient’s wishes.
- “We don’t know yet” is an honest answer.
- Ask for the recovery plan in writing.
09Frequently asked questions
I’m afraid of tiring the doctors with questions.
Questions are part of care. Choosing the two or three most important ones and naming one contact person keeps conversations short and useful.
The doctor says “we don’t know yet” — is that a bad sign?
Not necessarily. In intensive care things can change hour by hour, and honest doctors do not rush a prognosis. Ask, “When will we know more?”
Can I record the conversation?
Some hospitals allow it, others do not. Always ask permission first. Alternatively, take notes and repeat the key points back at the end.
I don’t understand the medical terms.
Ask for a plain-language explanation: “Could you put that another way?” The glossary on this site can help too.
I don’t know my loved one’s wishes — what should I do?
Share with the doctors what you know about their values, way of life and past conversations. This helps their voice be heard in decisions.
How do I reach my leukemia doctor?
Ask the intensive care team how the hematologist is involved in the plan and whether you can meet them. Often the hematologist visits the patient regularly.
10Questions for your doctor
Take these questions to your appointment. The ones you save are collected on the “My questions” page and stay on this device only.
I’m afraid of tiring the doctors with questions.
The doctor says “we don’t know yet” — is that a bad sign?
Can I record the conversation?
I don’t understand the medical terms.
I don’t know my loved one’s wishes — what should I do?
How do I reach my leukemia doctor?
12Sources
- NHS. Intensive care (making decisions about care)
- ICUsteps. Guide to intensive care: for relatives
- ICUsteps. Guide to intensive care: glossary of ICU terms
- ICUsteps. Guide to intensive care: when you leave the ICU
- Society of Critical Care Medicine (SCCM). Patient and Family Resources
- Intensive Care Society. What is intensive care?
- National Cancer Institute (NCI). Support for Caregivers of Cancer Patients
- MedlinePlus (U.S. National Library of Medicine). Critical Care
- Critical Care Medicine, 2017. Guidelines for Family-Centered Care in the Neonatal, Pediatric, and Adult ICU
- NICE. Rehabilitation after critical illness in adults (CG83)
- National Cancer Institute (NCI). Infection and Neutropenia during Cancer Treatment