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Guide for patients and loved ones

For a parent

Your child’s diagnosis is one of the hardest pieces of news. You are not alone, and you do not need to know everything at once.

Last updated: ~1 min read
Small shoes by the door
Figure 1.Small shoes by the door

01Short answer

As a parent you are both your child’s protector and their comfort. It helps to ask the team to explain the plan simply, write down questions, explain things to your child honestly and at their level, keep daily routines where possible, and give attention to brothers and sisters. Plan contact with nursery or school together with the team. Do not forget your own sleep, food and feelings; psychologists, social workers and other parents are a great support.

02Simple explanation

Talk with your child honestly and simply.

Brothers and sisters need attention too.

03Scientific explanation

In children’s cancer centres, psychologists, social workers and play specialists are usually part of the team.

Research shows that honest, age-appropriate explanation reduces children’s fear.

04What happens in the body?

Talking with your child

Simple words, short answers and the message “this is not your fault”. Do not leave questions unanswered; if you do not know, say “let’s ask together”.

Daily life

Routines, play and favourite things give a sense of safety, even in hospital. Plan school contact with the team.

A nightlight in the hallway
Figure 2.A nightlight in the hallway

The parent too

Take turns resting, accept help and share your feelings. Parent groups are useful for sharing experience.

A paper boat on the water
Figure 3.A paper boat on the water

05A parent’s path

Four steps.

Learn the plan — Step by step.1Learn the planStep by step.
Ask the team — Write questions down.2Ask the teamWrite questions down.
Siblings — Attention for all.3SiblingsAttention for all.
Care for yourself — Rest.4Care for yourselfRest.
TrustThe child feels protected.
Family unityEveryone together.

06Key points at a glance

TopicIn brief
Talking with your childSimple words, short answers and the message “this is not your fault”. Do not leave questions unanswered; if you do not know, say “let’s ask together”.
Daily lifeRoutines, play and favourite things give a sense of safety, even in hospital. Plan school contact with the team.
The parent tooTake turns resting, accept help and share your feelings. Parent groups are useful for sharing experience.

07Key terms

Play specialist
A professional who explains treatment to children through play.
Social worker
A professional who helps with practical and social matters.
Parent group
A meeting of parents on a similar path.

08Key points

  • Explain honestly and simply.
  • Keep routines.
  • Remember the siblings.
  • Look after yourself too.

09Frequently asked questions

Should I tell my child the name of the illness?

Plan this with the team, in a way that fits their age.

Is it my fault?

No. Childhood leukaemia is not caused by anything parents did.

10Questions for your doctor

Take these questions to your appointment. The ones you save are collected on the “My questions” page and stay on this device only.

  1. Should I tell my child the name of the illness?

  2. Is it my fault?

My questions

12Sources

  1. National Cancer Institute (NCI). When Your Parent Has Cancer: A Guide for Teens
  2. National Cancer Institute (NCI). Caring for the Caregiver
  3. National Cancer Institute (NCI). Support for Families When Someone Has Cancer
  4. National Cancer Institute (NCI). When Someone You Love Is Being Treated for Cancer (booklet)
  5. National Cancer Institute (NCI). Managing Your Care
  6. National Cancer Institute (NCI). Taking Time: Support for People with Cancer
  7. American Cancer Society. What a Cancer Caregiver Does
  8. Cancer.Net (ASCO). ASCO Cancer Treatment and Survivorship Care Plans
  9. Cancer Research UK. Coping with cancer
  10. National Cancer Institute (NCI). Infection and Neutropenia during Cancer Treatment
Medical disclaimerThis information is for educational purposes only and does not replace medical advice.
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